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“Back to School.” The words veritably ooze with meaning. For some the words conjure up fun pictures of shopping, bright colored tools, making new friends and hanging out with old friends.
For others it means studying, adjusting to new teachers, and studying (did I say that already?).
Mostly it means finding and settling into a routine. A routine that includes:
- A place to study
- A place to keep supplies
- A stock pile of supplies appropriate to each child’s age and needs
- Time periods for studying
- Morning processes for getting out of the house on time
- Processes for having the essentials when you leave the house
- How to get homework done in a timely manner
WAIT! “Getting homework done in a timely manner!”
I’m a parent, and I’ve spent time teaching in a high school classroom. So trust me when I say the most important tool for school this year is your student’s academic planner IF they use one that actually helps them manage their time.
I was back in the classroom recently and was reminded just how most students limp through their year. Most are using assignment books.
Assignment books amount to a list of assignments listed on a due date. This list is usually referenced the night before the assignment is due, which is why teachers often hear reasons excuses about work not being done.
- “I didn’t get my homework done last night (last night being the operative words) because I had play practice.”
- “I couldn’t finish my homework because I had to go shopping for my basketball shoes.”
If only they had been able to see just how busy their week was going to be, the student could have planned another night (other than “last night”) to do homework.
Take a look at this Academic Planner.
Physical features that are great:
- comes in two sizes: 8.5″ x 11″ and or 8.25″ x 8.5″
- card stock dividers
- two page layout
- choice of covers
Features that set this planner apart:
- Space for recording after school and evening responsibilities. If the student can see how all of their time is being utilized, they will be able to see what time is available for doing homework during the week, rather than just the night before.
You can’t manage the time you cannot see!
- Record classes just once. For high school or college when your classes may change mid-year, you can purchase custom-fit labels to cover the old class schedule.
- Project planning sheets.
- Can be used alone or place in a three-ring binder.
- Complementary tools to use with the academic planner.
The planner is more expensive that your assignment book. But I think it pays for itself in teaching your student to manage his time. Less reminders from you is always a win.
But I can also offer you a one-time 20% discount on the planner. Use the code PLANNER20.
As a mom, former teacher, and especially as a department supervisor for a clothing company, I can tell you how important I think it is for people to know how to manage their time! It’s vital!
Check it out and enjoy the discount. And happy ‘Back to School” shopping!
In part one of this three part series on how to help the people you love, I talked about helping them in the way that they need help. Not the way we think to help them. Only the person who needs help can really tell us what they need.
In the last post, I mentioned “if you’re a mother, a sister, a daughter, an aunt, a niece, a grandmother, well, any one with estrogen surging through them, then you have experienced the urge to be helpful. You’ve wanted to be helpful to those you love, and sometimes even to a perfect stranger.” If you fall in one of those categories, then I know that my next suggestion is going to be hard for you.
Nurturers by nature are helpful. And being helpful means pitching in, getting our hands dirty, doing what’s necessary. Being helpful somehow implies that we need to be in the fray. But by its very definition, helpful means “giving or ready to give help.” And the last part of that definition is what I want to talk about.
“Ready to give help” is not the same as being involved. It’s just means we are ready to help if that person tells what they need from us.
When we see someone we love hurting, working hard, in a time crunch, frustrated, etc., it’s hard to not rush to their aid. But sometimes the best thing we can do is stay out of the way.
Real life example:
You are awakened from a deep sleep when you hear a noise in the house. Of course, you wake your husband up to check things out. But you insists on going with him to disarm the burglar. In essence what will happen?
- you distract him from what he really needs to do
- you become a secondary priority that requires part of his attention
- your opinions distract him from finding the solution (you know you’re going to be telling him how he ought to handle this issue)
- he is safer
I know it’s a silly illustration, but you didn’t really want me to go there about us girls trying to help our husbands in those real life scenarios. Did you?
Real life example:
Your daughter comes home from school heart broken. Romeo has broken her heart. First reaction of a Southerner: “snatch him bald” (deep South), “wring his neck” (middle South), “give him a piece of my mind” (just South). But staying out of the way of this relationship issue, instead of helping, while going against the grain of a nurturer, will be the best help a mother can give.
What happens to our loved one when we stay out of the way?
- they find a solution on their own
- they learn that some problems resolve themselves, if given enough time
- they grow in their trial
- they learn about themselves
- they develop life skills in the process
Being helpful means “being ready to help.” Being ready doesn’t entail action. Sometimes the best help we can give to the people we love is to stay out of their way, and let them know that we are available . . . if they need our action.
If you’re a mother, a sister, a daughter, an aunt, a niece, a grandmother, well, any one with estrogen surging through them, then you have experienced the urge to be helpful. You’ve wanted to be helpful to those you love, and sometimes even to a perfect stranger. (Note: today we are not talking about our little ones.)
It’s so, so easy to think up ways to help:
- take them soup
- send them flowers
- offer to babysit
- share a cup of coffee
- bake them a pie
- etc., etc.
What’s not so easy is to help the way that person actually needs help.
- soup won’t clean their house
- flowers don’t give much needed rest
- babysitting, well, that just might be helpful
- coffee doesn’t ease our pain
- pies just make us fat
In the above quick, self-selected avenues of helping, how may those not actually be helpful?
- soup may mean they have to complete the meal with foods they don’t already have on hand
- what if they are allergic to flowers, especially those lovely Stargazers
- babysitting may mean they have to take the time to drive the kids to your house in an already tight schedule
- they don’t have time to meet you for coffee
- pies mean returning dishes to you
Real Life example:
Life is crazy busy. Schedules are tight. In order to still have a sit-down dinner with the family, you decide to put supper in the oven and set the timer. When everyone gets home, voila! dinner will be ready. You buzz in the door excited to eat dinner and catch up on all that is happening with the kids at school. But when you open the oven door, the oven feels room temperature, not hot. Quickly, you check all the settings only to find that the oven is off. Husband coming into the kitchen says, “Hi, honey! you left the oven on this morning, so I turned it off about an hour ago.” What?!?!?!
To be sure, you needed help that day, but that was not the help you needed.
Your husband could have set the table, swept the floor, made coffee, anything. A number of things would have been helpful; turning the oven off was not one of them.
And that’s how it works for the people we love. They need our help, but they don’t need help that actually makes more work for them or doesn’t solve any of the problems they have.
Real life example:
You know that your daughter has been working hard to keep her grades up while taking on a part in the school play. You want to do something special for her. You make appointments for both of you to get a manicure. A surprise girls’ night out! Great idea! She’ll love it! When she gets home from school, you let her know how proud you are of her and all of her hard work. Yeah! Then bong! “That would be so much fun,” she let’s you know, BUT she has play practice. What she really needs is her blouse ironed since she needs to get back to practice right away.
To be sure, she needed help that day, but the manicure was not the help she needed.
How can we know what to do?
There’s no magic formula for truly being helpful. Just two simple mindsets and one action:
- Don’t assume that they need what you would need if you were in the their shoes.
- Be willing to do what they need.
- Ask the one you love, “What can I do to be the most help to you?”
(Continue with me to Part 2 and Part 3.)